"Everytime you masturbate Marine, God kills a kitten."
Anonymous Marine Platoon Sgt.
I just had drill this weekend and after a seven miles hump on Saturday my feet are two huge blisters. It's akin to walking on a water bed. Interesting, yet not comfortable. The 1st Sgt. made a speech at the end of drill Sunday saying that you know you had a good field drill if you are both sore and tired. This one must have been an A+ field drill then. I think there is a link between the Marines psyche and rockclimbers' psyches. They both like to go out to the field and do stupid shit so that when they survive they have cool stories to tell to the reasonable (boring p******) human beings out there.
Then you have Sgt. Shifty (a nickname to protect his identity and not the one quoted about the kittens) who takes it to a whole new level. Friday night's Platoon Sgt Meeting. A couple of idiots are trying to figure out firewatch and are clearly not understanding which posts their platoons need to provide manpower for. Shifty is there with his video camera, and decides to go around the room filming the whole thing after which he turns the camera down to his pelvis area, shakes his hip and spanks the air crying "and this is what I think of this." I had to turn around so that the brass couldn't see me laughing. I have tears in my eyes remembering the whole thing. The best part? No one said a word, even the 1st Sgt. I think they were in shock. If Shifty didn't exist the Marine Corps would have to issue one per company. He is also the man who considers our unit to be "boy scouts, without adult supervision."
